


Every Piece of You

by thewaythatwerust



Series: Then, Now, Always. [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Body Dysphoria, Bottom Steve Rogers, Canon Divergence, Captain America: The First Avenger, Crossdressing, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talking Bucky Barnes, Dom/sub Play, Explicit Sexual Content, Feminization, Genderfluid Character, Happy Ending, M/M, Non-Binary Steve Rogers, Post-Battle of Azzano (Marvel), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Stucky - Freeform, Top Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:55:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24303271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewaythatwerust/pseuds/thewaythatwerust
Summary: Through Bucky's acceptance, Steve had found his own, and his every dream had come true. But life is cruel and capricious, and always takes from him what he loves the most. When Bucky is drafted, Steve volunteers, but the serum changes everything. How can he expect Bucky to ever look at him the same way when he can't even bear to look at himself?Continuation of Fumbling Toward Ecstasy.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Then, Now, Always. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754503
Comments: 14
Kudos: 60





	Every Piece of You

**Author's Note:**

> i. This is the continuation of "Fumbling Toward Ecstasy", exploring their relationship post-serum. A lot of canon divergence should be expected.
> 
> ii. This is not going to adhere to a regular update schedule. It will in all likelihood be flood and drought. I think it's probably going to be more angsty than my usual fare given the topics at hand, so I'm not going to be forcing this one. Feel free to subscribe to be notified of new updates. 
> 
> iii. Rating is based on the entire fic, and tags will be added as needed. If you've read FTE you have an idea of what to expect. I do have an outline for the story, but my mind is given to wandering off script and getting lost in 'never thought we'd end up here-land'.

“Ain’t nothin' gonna change, Stevie.” 

Bucky’s voice dances through Steve’s hair before warm lips press a kiss to the top of his head, but Steve still clings to him with every ounce of strength he possesses, like his thin, trembling arms are enough to anchor them to this moment, like he can keep Bucky here through sheer force of will alone.

“By all accounts, we’ve got them on the ropes. Just gonna swing in there, take down a few stragglers. I’ll be back before you know it with a mind full of pictures for you to put onto paper, maybe even a piece of shiny metal decorating my chest.” Bucky’s voice is low, the blond locks swallowing up the strain lingering below the forced cheer. “You’ll be fine. I bet you barely notice I’m gone.”

Steve scrubs his face against Bucky’s uniform, the crisp fabric roughing his cheek as he turns it dark with tears. “I don’t want you to go, Buck. I _won’t_ be fine. I’m never fine, not without you.” 

Pain blooms deep and raw, growing with each stuttering beat of his heart. He’d been foolish in his happiness with Bucky, thinking it would last, that it _could_ last. Life is cruel and capricious and always takes from him what he loves the most. Maybe the price to keep his heart beating is to have it broken, never whole, the pound of flesh life demanded extracted from those who call it _home._ A shiver coils down his spine, and he tightens his arms until they're aching, but he doesn't let go. He won’t let Bucky pay that price. 

“We could run away—”

Bucky snorts and pulls back just enough to meet Steve’s wet gaze. “You’ve never run away from a single thing in this life, Steven Grant Rogers, even when you should have. You’re not about to start now.”

The truth of Bucky’s words hit him in the chest almost as hard as the realization that he _would._ He _would_ run away if it means keeping Bucky _safe,_ if it means they could stay together. The only thing Steve has left in this world is here, wrapped in his arms and pounding under his ribs. And now, his whole world is being ripped away from him, going where he can’t follow, and there’s nothing he can do but sit back and watch.  
  
“I don’t know how to be _me_ without _you_. If anything happens…”

Bucky’s hands cup Steve’s jaw, tilting it high, thumbing away the pain leaking down his cheeks. “It’ll be fine, Stevie, I promise. Ain't nothin’ gonna change.”


End file.
